TNT:
Mot: Fred walks into a bar looking sad.
The barman asks the man what he wants. he man says “4 large whiskeys”.
The barman asked Fred “Whats wrong, why are you so down today?”.
Fred said “My wife and i got into a fight, and she said she won’t talk to me for 3 months”.
The barman said “So whats wrong with that”?
Fred “Well the 3 months is up today”.
Mot: A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Irish Pub.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while “the lights would turn off.”
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”
The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”
“No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.
“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”
************
Mot: Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58pm , sat down next to a blonde” at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10pm news came on covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”
The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset but handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5pm news so I knew he’d jump.”
The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Bob took the money.:)
